An Alcoholic Mother – Voice Week Day 2

This is my day two entry for Voice week over at BeKindReWrite
It is a five-day writing challenge and you can check it out over here: Voice Week HQ
I can recommend reading the work of other participants. There is a lot of incredible material.
Please note that there is strong (offensive?) language in the post below.

AN ALCOHOLIC MOTHER

Voice Of Son’s Friend
That was like, some crazy shit.
We dug going to X’s (name erased to protect individual’s identity) place on weekends. He was a dick, but his mom was cool. She’d give us booze. We were like, Awesome!, ‘cause we were like, fourteen or fifteen at the time. I think she was in her thirties – pretty old. Not the hottest mom like, but that didn’t matter ‘cause we got to see her titties. And her pussy. Damn, it was hot.
Yeah, he mentioned his dad. Said he was a preacher like. Fucking imagine that!
Nah, don’t know what happened to her. I wasn’t by his place for… for a long time. Bet she’s like, really ancient now. Uuuugh!

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16 thoughts on “An Alcoholic Mother – Voice Week Day 2

  1. R.L.W.

    Aw, this made me sad. I agree with Kay, I wanted to tell this little punk, “Look, you don’t know what X went through! He had every right to be a dick.”

    Reply
  2. Kay Camden

    I need to slap this kid. It’s too authentic. And I hear the posturing of insecure youth. I bet he’s the sweetest little thing when his mother is tucking him in to bed at night.

    Reply
  3. Billie Jo Woods

    I picture the narrator living in his mom’s converted basement smoking a joint as he is remembering his old “friend’s” mom like this.

    I agree with Mike, a great many teenage boys that I have known over the years would have thought they had found utopia at that kid’s house with the drink and the flashing of flesh flowing so freely.

    Reply
  4. Mike

    This voice is so real it leaps of the page (or screen) at you.
    I like the way you changed the time frame. Voice 1 seems to have us in the present but now Voice 2 has taken us some time into the future. He looks back on the experiences as ‘awesome’ – free booze and a semi naked older woman – must have seemed like a 14 year old’s heaven!
    Then dad gets another mention with just a touch more information and then the added intrigue – “Hah, don’t know what happened to her.”
    Another great read. Looking forward to Wednesday.

    Reply
  5. Craig Towsley

    Interesting point of view – looking back? Looking forward to reading it all (once finished) and seeing how (probably) wrong my assumptions were.

    Reply
  6. Carl

    Fabulous voice here. Well done, and the intensity goes up as if he is watching the faces of his audience…

    Reply
  7. Pingback: An Alcoholic Mother – Voice Week Day 2 | Scribbla « Voice Week HQ

  8. bekindrewrite

    Man, I can’t stand people who talk like this – but it is right-on-target real. Every single word is so carefully chosen, yet it seems like something the kid just spewed out. Right down to the “uuugh!” at the end – which I can totally hear.

    Reply
  9. writingsprint

    Awful, gross, and well written. The tone is casual and crass, compared to the weariness of the son’s.

    Reply
  10. thewriteproject

    Can you spell dysfunction? Agh, icky and disturbing!!! Yet I can’t wait for tomorrow’s piece. Your characters and descriptions leap out of the page; really good.

    Reply
  11. juanvillagrana

    WOW. Great, GREAT, authentic voice. Very real. It’s like this actually happened! I loved the difference from the son’s outlook on things. Great job!
    =)

    Reply
  12. yikici

    Oooo this is interesting! Something certainly has happened -I thought you used ‘X’ to suggest ‘X’ is under some kind of protection -like Social Services have got involved due to the mothers careless behaviour. The voice is very strong. Nice!

    Reply
  13. Janece

    🙂 Could totally hear this in my head…It sounds almost as if something has happened to “X”, and now the police are questioning those that knew him…looking for clues to…what? A murder perhaps? A double murder? A run away? LOTS of underlying tension in this piece for me, Looking forward to more!

    Reply

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