Died Happy – Drabble for Inspiration Monday

It appears that Inspiration Monday at BeKindReWrite has turned out into an ideal way for me to practice my drabble skills. Please be sure to visit the site and make time to read some exceptional writers.

Died Happy
“Died happy,” Hector told me at the grave.
“Stu? Stu died happy? Fok off,” I said.
“Nah, it’s true,” Jeremiah said.
We shuffled in the fog.
“Bullshit,” I said.

The phone rang. I hesitated, then, “Markus.”
“You Stu’s bro?”
“Yeah. Who’s this?”
“They telling you he died happy?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s bullshit.”
“I know.”

“You happy Hector?”
“Yeah, Markus.”
“You? Jeremiah? You happy too?” I put down the beer glass.
“Yes, Markus. I’m happy. Why’s you ask?”
“Just checking up on you boys.”

My cell phone was out before the pub door closed.
“Yeah?”
“At least they’ll die happy,” I said.

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12 thoughts on “Died Happy – Drabble for Inspiration Monday

  1. Janece

    I’ve been gone most of the week and have just remembered Inspiration Monday. I’m SO glad I did! Yours was the first submission I read and now I remember “WHY” I wanted to participate. This is excellent…you’ve managed to capture so much with so few words and the end left me wanting more!!

    Reply
  2. Pingback: Inspiration Monday: « BeKindRewrite

  3. Mike

    Another great drabble. Once again you have shown how powerful a piece of writing can be in just 100 words.
    Great dialogue, short, sharp and punchy.
    Thanks for a wonderful read.

    Reply
    1. scribbla Post author

      Thank you very much for the read and your kind words, Mike. I always appreciate your visits and words. Thank you.

      Reply
  4. Kay Camden

    These guys appeal to me and I have no idea why. Guess I like tough guys. What girl doesn’t? 🙂
    I love the breaks. It paces the piece perfectly and gives us some blanks to fill in, leaves us hanging, wondering, wanting more… then the last line. I could hug it.

    Reply
    1. scribbla Post author

      Thanks. The breaks were experimental for a drabble. Glad there was a payoff.
      Tough guys are such fun to write, I have to admit.

      Reply
  5. writingsprint

    Whoa! Great last line! The entire scene reminded me of a Tarantino movie: snappy dialogue between rough guys.

    Reply

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