Evanson (a drabble for InMon: Truth Decay)

The choices over at BeKindRewrite this week were incredible. I took a while to pick one, but was very pleased with the prompt I settled with (Truth Decay). I struggled to keep this as a drabble – first pass was at 184 words. Serious editing there. Anyway, please check out the InMon weekly prompts and the incredibly talented writers there. Here’s my piece:

Evanson
The first was the most terrifying. Early twenties – perfect specimen. Strapped him to a chair and injected the serum.
“Name?” Mutongo asked him.
“Evanson.”
“Name?”
“Evanson.”
“Evanson,” Mutongo, dark-skinned giant, asked, “what did we just inject?”
Evanson stared Mutongo down.
“E-357-Z,” Mutongo said. “Truth Decay.”
Evanson remained calm.
“Never heard of it?” Mutongo’s laughter ricocheted off the walls. “Let me explain. I ask questions. You answer. When you are truthful, no problem. When you lie, Truth Decay attacks your body. Keep lying and an hour from now you will be eighty years old.”
Evanson twitched.
“Name?” Mutongo asked.

Advertisements

19 thoughts on “Evanson (a drabble for InMon: Truth Decay)

  1. Pingback: Inspiration Monday: Impossible to ignore « BeKindRewrite

  2. Find an Outlet

    Very good Scribbla. I found myself musing on this today…the simple hopelessness of the situation. In a movie he’d escape somehow, but in real life I fear not.

    Reply
    1. scribbla Post author

      I’m very pleased to know it lingered as an after image. When artists/writers/musicians/film-makers can do that to me, I am most grateful to them. So I take your words as highest praise. Thank you.

      Reply
  3. Kay Camden

    Yes yes yes. Your editing paid off. Unique and intriguing idea. I love how you return to the “Name?” question – it’s emotionally gratifying in a powerful way. This is one of your best. How many times can I click “Like”? I wish there was a “Love” button.

    Reply
    1. scribbla Post author

      Ah, it’s always so good to read your impressions. I agree about the editing – the story really tightened up because of it. And I’m very pleased to know there was the payoff. Thank you so, so much for making time to comment.

      Reply
    1. scribbla Post author

      Thanks for popping by, reading and commenting. I appreciate your taking time to do so. Your comment is encouraging.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s