Double Helix – Short Story Part IV

The story continues in short bursts. If you’d like to read Part I or Part II or Part III just click on them.

“We need your mind, Jerry,” Lyle says. “It turns out your brother disappeared a little over a month ago. Our employer is a… uh…”
“Benefactor,” the squat guys says.
“Thank you Moses,” Lyle says. “Benefactor. He wants to help your brother out a little. But because your brother is missing, he can’t. So he asked us to find you to help us find your brother. And in exchange, you get all your debt paid off and fifteen grand. What do you say?”
I am not comfortable with any of this, but if I refuse to play I might never meet my brother. A brother I did not know I had. I have to meet him.
“Why’d you beat me up?” I ask.
“Ah, sorry about that,” Lyle says.
“Yeah, sorry mate,” the squat guy smiles.
“We had to let you know we mean business. I mean, imagine we just walked in here all nice and offered you stacks of money. What would stop you from taking the money and running? So we had to let you know that there’s consequences to stealing and that we’re not afraid of meting them out,” Lyle says. “But we’re all cool, right?”
“Yeah,” I say. “We’re all cool. So, what happens next?”

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15 thoughts on “Double Helix – Short Story Part IV

  1. Pingback: Double Helix Part XII | Scribbla

  2. Pingback: Double Helix – Short Story Part XI | Scribbla

  3. Pingback: Double Helix – Short Story Part X | Scribbla

  4. Pingback: Double Helix – Short Story Part IX | Scribbla

  5. Pingback: Double Helix – Short Story Parts VII & VIII | Scribbla

  6. Pingback: Double Helix – Short Story Parts V & VI | Scribbla

    1. scribbla Post author

      Hehehe… I’m with you on this one. I have to decide whether I’ll post regularly (but short bursts) or less regularly (longer pieces). I’m finding that finding time right now is a bit difficult. But thanks for taking your time to read and comment here. I’ll do my best to lengthen the pieces I post.

      Reply
  7. Dave "Noobcake" Farmer

    Totally agree with Evelyn, the squat word gives me a great impression of the guys appearance. I love it when with such minimal description I can create an image of a character in my mind. Sometimes too much description stunts the imagination. Great work Scribbla! Looking forward to the next part!

    Reply
    1. scribbla Post author

      Thanks Dave. I find that when I start getting flowery with my language my descriptions become boring and fall flat. I trust my readers to be able to create in their own minds off just a few key words. I’m sure that what they are able to create is so much better than what I could describe, or perhaps even what I see, lol.

      Reply
  8. johnnathanielfernando

    nice! hey can i suggest a story and then can you like write about it? sometimes stories “pop up” in my head but i figured a long time ago that i don’t have the talent for writing stories so maybe you can help out. not now, but just whenever i get “the spark”.

    Reply
    1. scribbla Post author

      Ah, I really hate to say no to you, so I’ll say that I am unable to do so right now. Truth is, I just don’t have time!!!
      But you know what else – you write fantastically yourself. You have some keen insights and an intriguing way of describing people and situations. I think that you’d surprise yourself with what you can do. Start with small steps. Bet you have a great story written out in no time.

      Reply
  9. Evelyn

    The word squat is so great.
    I love this tall guy/fat guy/smart guy/stupid guy relationship. I have a similar pair of characters in one of my stories and I find them such fun to play with. Its an interesting dynamic to play out.
    Great names too. just perfect.

    Reply
    1. scribbla Post author

      Yeah, it’s great fun. I want to feel free to play with the characters. I find it hard to sometimes step out of my own tunnel vision way of writing and look for new ways of doing things. By having fun with it instead of taking it too seriously I feel comfortable working in unfamiliar spaces.

      Reply

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