Words Of Advice From A Ghost

How do you turn your back on everything you’ve known and just walk away? You don’t.
It doesn’t work like that, despite what others tell you or what you see in movies. You don’t walk away from anything. You walk towards something else. Something more compelling. Life continues in a straight line. No matter who you are, or what you try, you cannot just forget your old life and start over without going insane in the process. Ask me, I know.
I tried to forget my wife and kids. First, I pretended they didn’t exist. Then I pretended they didn’t matter. For a while, I made up a story that I’d been an abusive husband and father and my wife divorced me and got restraining orders not to go near any of them. In order to lie to myself convincingly, I had to find that man inside of me. I lived out his dreams, his fears, his desires and needs. Less than three months later I attempted suicide. I am on a mission to survive – it is the reason I left them behind – and I tried to kill myself.
So listen carefully to me when I tell you this: If you ever have to run, to disappear, be sure you know what it is you are running toward, because you can never leave yourself behind.

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17 thoughts on “Words Of Advice From A Ghost

  1. jeremythurston

    Hello scribbla, long time.. I just got out of the hospital with multiple stab wounds. I died twice, and was resuscitated. This post hit me at home. so close, it touched me emotionally more than any of your other posts. Dying is a strange thing. I really dont recall anything. it is almost like it didnt happen. What does this mean to me? It means that I understand something. I understand that life is short, but my problems from before are still here. It can end at any time. So do you really want to spend what little time you have pretending like they dont exist? I dont. Im done. Im done with worthless drama, im going to stand up and face my issues, im going to tackle them head on, and im going to end them. Why, because I could be doing better things than running away from something i can end. Scribbla, you are a hugely inspirtational writer, i look up to you, and hope that one day i can engage my readers emotions like you do mine. Keep writing, i know i will.

    Reply
  2. sparrowsong

    I have to agree with the protag. I always have a funny habit of chasing myself around. I can never seem to leave myself behind…

    Reply
  3. MyWordsWhisper

    Yup, we can run, run away, run hard, and keep running. But we can never ever hide…from ourselves. That ghost appears whether we want it to or not.
    You wrote words of truth!

    Reply
  4. valbrussell

    The best advice is always ghostly. This is a ‘sober up’ story for sure and it makes you feel like the falling rock signs you see on mountain passes, scary but important to acknowledge just in case.

    Reply
  5. Carl

    I like this a great deal. I have a spiritual advisor who always asks me about what I am running to because something about me makes me feel like I am always running away from something. If you are not normally in the process of running to something, life has little or no value and survival is not so important. We need hope. Running to something is a hopeful thing. I figure the ghost is the true man inside whoever is running. You are always sharp, and this is another great write. Consistently great is wonderful. I’m envious of that.

    Reply
  6. Team Oyeniyi

    Very poignant. No, we can never leave ourselves behind. “Where you go, there you are.”

    I can never leave behind totally my parents’ suicides, even though they were over 40 years ago. Something always stays, however so slightly.

    Reply
  7. Rashmi Kamath

    woah!! for a minute i actually thought that was true. and part of me still feels that it is. that is how convincing it was.. nice one!! 🙂

    Reply
  8. chesshirecat

    You make me crazy. With those two paragraphs above, I responded with a 200 word reply. I looked at it and realized what it was. It’s now in my journal. You don’t need to see it. This post inspired me to roar past some walls and write what I’ve been observing about myself for some time. Whew… Darn you…or bless you…

    Reply
  9. Indigo Spider

    This is a true to life piece of advice rolled into a little story. We carry our baggage with us no matter where we go so if we never unpack those old demons we wind up just dragging them along wherever we go. Sadly, I confess to thinking I could run away and leave things behind… learned this lesson the hard way. Thanks for the gentle reminder.

    Reply
  10. MARANTHA JENELLE

    This is all too sadly true, as is the fact that somehow fate sees to it that you more than likely will end up right back where you started. Life is like one never ending Mobius strip, with us moving around its loop forever, always destined to return to the very place from which we started.

    Scribbla, you seem to know a lot about writing, and I was wondering if you could take a look at some of mine on my posts and give me your opinion. And I will take it you have no intention of acknowledging the message I left before, as it was several days ago. I am a little hurt at that, as no one likes to be simply pushed aside.

    marantha

    Reply

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