After The War

26 Replies

—I forgot to pay my internet bill and got cut off. Hahahaha. So I wrote today’s entry on my phone. It is 140 characters in length – like a twitter message.—

I didn’t dare think of you in the Time of Broken Dreams. And you didn’t think of me. I still exist. I wish I cared enough to find you again.

26 thoughts on “After The War”

  1. Psyve

    Scribbla,
    “I didn’t dare think of you in the Time of Broken Dreams. And you didn’t think of me. I still exist. I wish I cared enough to find you again”
    Sci-Fi fan though I am, until I read your explanatory “back story”, I read this as a more down to earth cry of one who has broken up with the love of his life. After the “break up” he doesnt want to conciously think of “her” , because of all the memories that conjours up in his mind. In this explanation / version, there is a bitterness in “… and you didnt think of me: I still exist” which is apparent in the final “I dont care about you” statement ” I wish I cared enough to find you again”.

    Acceptable as an alternative explanation for the same 160 words?
    Cheers,

    Psyve

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  2. valbrussell

    Well, I’ve been away from this blog for too long! This was great scribbla and the comparison to a broken relationship is apt I think. This is a thinker of a flash that stays with a reader, not easy to do but you’ve done it. 🙂

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  4. Team Oyeniyi

    I have someone I could send that message to, actually. Are you sure we haven’t lived mirrored lives? Although, I my case I do not wish I cared enough to find……. but I understand the sentiment. Ties in with the roadsigns.

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  5. Find an Outlet

    Hi Scribbla,

    Your fan club is growing by the day and nobody deserves it more! I’m so proud of you, and myself for finding your remarkable blog back when you barely had a comment! My big joy is finding amazing blogs (not easy!) and meeting a writer new to me with whom I can discuss the writing—that’s what it’s all about for me. I often search for blogs with no comments—which means they either don’t want them (which is very common and baffles me), or they do but they just haven’t been “discovered” yet and appreciate the feedback.

    But I confess that sometimes I just don’t get the stories, and feel like a complete blockhead because everybody here seems to understand them immediately. I don’t get how everybody got this brief story and said it was awesome, etc., which it is, when it was a mystery to me. What am I missing? How can readers possibly understand what’s going on in your head without discussion or asking questions? I believe many of your stories actually do touch on genius, but I have a need to understand them first. I know they are open to interpretation, but I feel that something’s wrong with me, that I’m not seeing deeply enough into the story. How does one do this—is it something that cannot be learned, something the reader just “knows”? Now that you’ve given me insight into the story, I think it’s amazing too. But if everyone understood all types of literature immediately, then we wouldn’t need teachers or Cliff Notes or study guides, right?

    Feel free to delete this comment as I realize it’s off-topic. It’s just something that’s been on my mind for a while. I would like to be able to leave a comment saying “I don’t get it,” but I’m too embarrassed. I am bewildered by other authors sometimes too, but never know what to say because I feel it’s my fault for being so dense!

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    1. Carl

      I understand the point of this comment and wanted to add something –

      Until the backstory was outlined, I had no idea that this was the depth of the story.

      I’m not sure if I should feel bad about that. To me, what is especially good in micro fiction is when the reader can be drawn in and identify with an emotional context even though the reader might have a completely different idea on the background. When I write micro fiction, I enjoy maintaining gray (which is actually mandated by the length) and then seeing some of the interesting ways people interpret the part that was unwritten. The hard part is to illicit the emotions and identification without being able to give context.

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    2. Kay Camden

      I’m compelled to chime in too. I had no idea about the back story. But you can always tell (especially with Scribbla’s writing) that the piece comes from somewhere, and my imagination builds something behind it whether it’s right or wrong, specific or general. It’s not so much out spelling everything out as it is to awake something in the reader, which is exactly what he’s done. Look at this conversation! We’d all love to have this degree of discussion on our blogs.

      Also, I think I can speak for most fiction writers that the best thing about writing is dropping clues, only giving the reader a little, just enough to give them a little itch to scratch so that when they’re sitting in traffic they’re like Ah! That’s what he meant! The human mind is built to figure out puzzles and that’s the fun of it all. So when someone gets it, or asks a question like you did that opens up the meaning behind it all… well that’s what we strive for.

      I don’t understand a lot of writing, mainly poetry. Poetry is almost always over my head. I think I’ve made a few “you lost me on this one” comments and I always feel so dumb when the writer explains it. Haha..

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  6. screen_scribbla Post author

    “forget”? Mmmmmmm, yes. I know that one.

    Great question.
    I didn’t realize, at first, that this piece had a couple of ways to read.
    In my mind I imagined a future where a war was just won against some force that was able to read minds.
    If someone dreamed, those dreamed about were destroyed. I find the concept intriguing and frightening. What if you were told not to think of a special someone in your life or else they would be harmed. How do you NOT think of them?
    So anyway, the fact that the protag still exists is proof that she did not think of him. But after a long time of training one’s self not to think of a special someone, what happens when you suddenly are allowed to think of them again? How do you go about reversing the conditioning? Do you even still care?

    Upon a second reading after a good night’s rest, I realized that the process is not dissimilar, in some ways, to a broken relationship. Only difference is the person you think of doesn’t actually get harmed, but the image of them in your mind gets distorted to suit a narrative of your choice the more you think of them.
    I could go on here, but prefer not to. Hope that helps though.

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    1. Kay Camden

      Wow.

      Most of the time back story is the “yeah yeah get on with it” part of the story. I think this is a situation in which the back story is AWESOME. Yet another one of your ideas that could be developed into a novel (or film).

      And I just thought this was an open letter to your internet provider. Stunning.

      I want a redo on this one after your bill is paid and you can type more.

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    2. Carl

      I agree – Fabulous backstory. I like the piece a lot too!
      In David Foster Wallace’s posthumous novel, The Pale King, he has a fantastic exposition on the idea that it is impossible to command yourself not to think of someone. It, like all of his work is fantastic. I think, if I understood it right, he concluded that you must make your mind find the exact spot in the middle between thinking of someone and not thinking of someone and that is when you will be able to both not think of someone and not think about not thinking about someone. I love the thought process because my mind is completely undisciplined and I would never have a prayer of doing that.

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  10. sparrowsong

    You rock. Seriously. And I hope you get your internet back because a house without internet isn’t a home.

    Oh my, did I really say that?

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  11. Indigo Spider

    Wow, amazing story in so few words. Maybe I should be without internet to be so inspired 😉

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    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thanks. Nah, I don’t think it’s being without the internet, but rather about finding a challenge because of constraints. Like the challenge on your site that I’m busy with.

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  13. Madison

    Hahaha! At least you had internet on your phone so you could make your blog post. Priorities are straight enough 😉

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