Road Trip – 500 Club (5/5)

Written for the 500 Club over at The Parking Lot Confessional It’s well worth checking out the blog happening over there.

You think a road trip is going to be a continuous rush of adrenaline and activity.
For starters, you imagine picking up a hot, horny hitchhiker. She’s in her late teens. She also tells you she just finished school and is on her way to an acting job in the city. You know she’s a liar but you play along. You don’t want to ruin your chances of getting it on with her so you must be impressed.
Then you come across the car wreck in the middle of nowhere. How someone manages to roll a car on a stretch of straight desert road confounds you. As do the bullet holes and a suitcase that is still full of cash. Loads of cash. You tell her that dead men can’t buy fancy things, but that you can buy her fancy things in the city. Of course, you have no intention of doing so, but the fact she’s suddenly sweltry out in the desert and needs a change of clothing into the shortest skirt you’ve ever seen confirms that it’s a lie worth telling.
At the next filling station you feel good about yourself. You wink at your reflection in the bathroom mirror. You can’t remember the last time you did that.
When you approach your car, you notice the suitcase is missing from the back seat. And she is too. The attendant could kiss his shoes, he laughs so hard at you while pointing in the direction you just drove in from. You kick him onto his ass, hop in your car and drive off. He coughs and splutters to his feet, hurling expletives into the dust cloud you leave him in.
Ten miles on you realise he lied. She was headed in the opposite direction. Into the mountains. You turn around to follow them.
The old geezer at the filling station nearly blows your head off with a shotgun as you whizz past him. There is a dull thud. By the time he appears in your rear-view mirror, he is motionless. Too bad, so sad, shouldn’t play chicken out on the highway.
Their car is a blue jalopy that couldn’t make it all the way up the mountain pass. You know it because her heeled shoes are discarded on the floor of the passenger side. That’s worth smiling about.
His shoeprints have disturbed the gravel. You follow them up a ravine. There are many narrow bends. The heat is suffocating. When you reach the top you look about. Nobody in sight. You walk to a ledge and peer over it. The road snakes below. Movement catches your eyes. The two of them push your car over the edge of the road where you parked. You roar. Seconds later they look up at you. They gesture rudely with their fingers.
There is a sound behind you. You turn to see a young skinhead right there. You are surprised. You didn’t expect three of them. He shoves you off the mountain.


16 thoughts on “Road Trip – 500 Club (5/5)

  1. screen_scribbla Post author

    Thanks for making time to read and comment on this piece. I really do appreciate it.
    Not sure about your question. But I put that down to poor writing on my side. The two down at the car were the girl and one occupant from the car that picked her up. The third person was a second traveler in the car that picked her up. I tried to take advantage of the idea that the reader would likely think that there would be only one person in the car she ran off with. Hope that helps. If I’ve misunderstood your question, please let me know.

    1. Indigo

      Oh, I understood the dynamics. You set it up perfectly. I simply meant if I was the guy who picked up the woman hitchhiker, I wouldn’t have suspected the two men would leave her to fend for herself. Usually when I say I have so many questions, I hint at liking the story and wanting more. Sorry, for all the confusion. (Hugs)Indigo

  2. Indigo

    Took a moment to get into the second person telling, loved the ride once I did. Didn’t expect a third either, I figured they would take off with his car and leave him stranded in the desert. So many questions, why did the first two leave her…(Hugs)Indigo

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thanks Carl. Glad you could enjoy it. That second person thing is a bitch to write. I actually got my cue from the master himself, Mr. Tom Robbins. Though I don’t think I made a scratch on the way he would write it.

  3. Kay Camden

    Love the stream of consciousness of this. Love the Second Person. Although, I have a hard time relating – change “hitchhiker in her late teens” to “Sam Worthington without his shirt” and then we’re in business.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Okay – Sam Worthington without a shirt it is then if that works best for you!
      I must confess I first had to IMDB him. Can you believe I have seen none of his films? No, not even Avatar.
      Thanks for the read and comment.

      1. Kay Camden

        Avatar was okay. Worth seeing but I don’t understand the hype. He was best in Terminator Salvation. But with him, it’s not so much about the movie as it is about him. LOL


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