Orbits – Inspiration Monday

“You can hear the stars speaking to each other,” she whispers.
“Huh?” I ask.
We lie on a bed of pebbles beside a gossipy river.
As she turns her head in the moon’s half light, tresses of wild hair fall across her cheeks and spill over her nose and mouth; a carefree blanket, an unmade bed.
“Shhhhhhhhhhh…” she indents her soft lips with a finger.
Though I cannot see the colour in her eyes anymore because of the dark, they exude a compelling force as fresh and invigorating as the air I inhale. The laws of the universe are temporarily suspended. She is gravity and my spirit falls sideways toward her, moving beyond my flesh and bone like a hungry ghost. I want to eat her. I want to become her. I want her to become me.
She turns to look at the heavens again and the spell is lost. I keep looking at her naked body, just out of my reach. My imagination colours what is not visible to me. I have become aroused. For a moment I am embarrassed and want to turn onto my stomach, to hide. But I abandon my shame, and embrace the exhilaration of taboo rushing through the blood in my veins.
“What do the stars say to each other?” I ask quietly.
“That they can never be lovers,” she replies.
“Why not?”
“Because if they got too close to each other, the attraction between them would be so great they would collide furiously – so furiously they would be destroyed.”
“Are they afraid of death?”
“No, they are not. But they fear the effect of their destruction on the planets and stars around them. They could take an entire galaxy with them.”
Her chest stutters. There is a teardrop’s drying trail on her face that glints in the moonlight. A cool breeze from the river caresses my skin and I turn to lie on my stomach.

Bekindwrewrite’s Inspiration Monday – please take look


39 thoughts on “Orbits – Inspiration Monday

  1. Pingback: Listening To The Stars Can Be Dangerous – Stories In Your Pocket

  2. Pingback: Inspiration Monday VII | bekindrewrite

  3. pattisj

    I liked the “wild hair” and “unmade bed,” along with those mentioned in previous comments. I enjoy reading the way you can turn a phrase. New to Inspiration Monday, also, looking forward to reading more of your prose.

  4. Pingback: Inspiration Monday VII «

  5. Indigo Spider

    Wow, incredible, beautiful writing. I have not read any of your other work since I apparently started Inspiration Monday during your hiatus. However, I will definitely be going back to read everything and subscribe for all future posts!

    My favorite line: She is gravity and my spirit falls sideways toward her, moving beyond my flesh and bone like a hungry ghost. I want to eat her. I want to become her. I want her to become me.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thank you very much for taking the time to both read and comment on my piece. I’m glad that you could enjoy it. I will be sure to check out your blog too.

  6. jenna

    This is absolutely gorgeous. I love it. So eloquent, sad, amazing. Great job! Glad to see you back, I missed reading your posts!

  7. Carl

    This was fabulous. It magically carried me away and I also had this unusual feeling of being intimidated by her. Very real.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      I’m pleased to hear it carried you away and that you enjoyed it. That is the highest compliment I can receive. Thanks for your time reading and commenting.

  8. Pingback: Listening To The Stars Can Be Dangerous | Short Stories

  9. Mike

    Like others above I’m glad to see you back. Hope you are feeling well and rested.
    A great story – I agree with other comments and think that the phrase ‘beside a gossipy river’ is tremendous and conjures up all sorts of images.
    I also loved the though of stars not being able to be lovers because getting close to one another would lead to a furious destruction, yet at the same time they are not thinking of themselves and death but of others.
    You have also prompted me to come up with something for this week’s ‘Inspiration Monday’
    Welcome back.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Hi Mike – it’s always good to hear from you. Thank you for reading the piece and taking time to comment. I’m really pleased that you enjoyed it and that you are inspired to tackle Inspiration Monday. It’s a fantastic weekly offering from BeKindReWrite.

  10. bekindrewrite

    The metaphor in this piece is so beautiful. It seems like something John Green would say (yes a compliment) – and the imagery, like the unmade bed, indenting her lips with a finger, and her stuttering chest has all the genius of Markus Zusak – but threaded through with your own style.

    I feel like I should unsubscribe just for the pleasure of subscribing again.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Wow again. Thank you so much for your words. I feel a bit of a fool being unfamiliar with John Green and Markus Zusak. I need another life to get smarter!

  11. chesshirecat

    The photo in the header…now that is saying some powerful things. Am I correct? Is the compound surrounded with razor wire?
    Innocence, benevolence, benign … violence kept at bay, innocence protected, outside the walls: danger… behind the walls: childhood beauty and limpid reflecting pools

    Everything you touch is magic…you always seem to be thinking of a statement … this is why I come back. Time and again, I feel as I’m being fed tidbits of life…poetic languages of visual art. The written word and the photographic imagery you provide…it’s better than a picture show.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Wow – such kind words. I don’t know how to react. So I say thank you. Thank you very much.

      You have described the photo in the header perfectly. I am amazed. Though not surprised, considering the amount of thought that you put into your own photographic work.

      The photo was taken in my back yard. My son was reaching for some of his toys in the pool – they lured him. He cannot swim and if he’d fallen in without supervision, would’ve drowned. I saw the toys, his reflection, the razor wire also reflected in the water, and took the shot – all the while intending to capture what you so marvelously noted.

  12. Madison Woods

    First, I loved the ‘gossipy river’ imagery. This was excellent, so good it gave me goosebumps. Bravo!

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Yaaaaay! I gave you goosebumps – that is highest praise. I’m very pleased you liked it and was also very happy that the words fell into place like they did.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Though scary, it feels good to write again. I had a great time with this one (I cheated ’cause I let it simmer a few hours and then edited it) and am very glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read and comment.


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