He Told Me Why He Did It – Drabble

His only call? Lawyer. Guy regularly defends druggies. Found that out later.
Lawyer called me next morning. Said my son was in jail. Arrested for crack. Would I be willing to post bail later in the day?
I went to the holding cells. Mark looked like a mop used to clean bar toilets.
“What happened?”
“Dad, it’s a setup.”
“You’re innocent?”
“Yeah.”
“You said that last time. You using again?”
“Dad, listen to me.”
“When you go back to that shit?”
“Dad.”
“Why didn’t… that’s fucked up, Mark.”
“Listen.”
“This time I’m gonna leave you in.”
“Fine, don’t listen.”
“Mark!”

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16 thoughts on “He Told Me Why He Did It – Drabble

  1. cmmarcum

    Well, I’ve learned a new word: drabble. I cheated and looked it up on Wikipedia. I’ve heard flash and micro fiction, even did a 30 word challenge. It’s harder than it looks. You do it very well.

    Reply
    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thanks for your comments and for taking the time to read my post. I really do appreciate it. I also had to look up Drabble not so long ago. Flash fiction too! It had been a while since I had written and things changed.
      There is a lot of good writing on WordPress in these genres that are well worth the read. I remain astounded by the level of writing so freely and easily accessible.

      Reply
  2. romancingforthrills

    I really like the way you create a powerful, tension filled scene in very few words. The subtext between the lines is compelling. I drew me into the scene, and had me wondering about Mark and his Dad, their lives before this incident, and what happened to them afterwards.

    Reply
    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thanks for reading and for taking the time to comment. I’m glad that you took the story beyond the parameters set out here. I try to evoke those kinds of questions – the back story and what could happen in the future.

      Reply
  3. Mike

    Another great Drabble – well done.
    I wasn’t sure who to feel the most sorry for – Dad because his son had let him down, yet again or Mark because there may just be a chance that he had something important to say, if only Dad would listen.
    Once the communication breaks down there will always be problems.

    Reply
    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thanks for your comments Mike. I don’t ever think it is as easy as pointing out one guilty party. We all play our part as parents or kids. It makes cleaning up the mess really difficult.

      Reply
  4. kolembo

    Ah, dialogue! It’s good, I was rummaging around for the rest when I finally clicked the title and the blog…

    You write good dialogue, I find it VERY difficult to do. I’ll try and use you to get on with my script then shall I……!

    Ok, going to look around.

    Reply
    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Hi Kenny – you write some incredible poetry over on your blog. And since you’re a director, get some other sod to write your scripts – lol. What I’m saying is, don’t worry too much about how you write the dialogue, but rather how your actors translate it on the screen. But I’m sure you know that already.
      Thanks for reading and commenting on my post. It is good to know someone else on the continent has finally made it to this blog space.

      Reply
    1. Find an Outlet

      He’s still in jail though and even if he was set up, he’s still a f*ckup whose father has to periodically bail him out . . . jeez I guess I don’t believe him.

      Reply
  5. Find an Outlet

    It’s the last line in this that holds the power. To me, it shows how kids hold their parents hostage with petulance when their lies aren’t believed. A sullen retort, a slammed door, a turned back—causes the parent more pain than whatever the kid did.

    Reply
  6. screen_scribbla Post author

    Yes – I was attempting to illustrate that this exchange and its content are only the results of a deeper communication that has never taken place. The parental desire to believe, but not being sure; the kid’s wanting to be heard but possibly lying in order to be heard…
    Thanks for the read and comment.

    Reply
  7. Re Gypsy

    I love the fact that you are doing drabbles now too ;o). This is a great line ‘Mark looked like a mop used to clean bar toilets.’ and made me giggle. Parents and their children huh…., you penned their relationship beautifully ;o)

    Reply
  8. Madison Woods

    The mother in me wants to believe the kid, but this exchange sounds oh so familiar, whether it’s being busted for drugs, poor grades, or skipping school.

    Reply

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