Me and Jill on the Hill

The rain has gathered into rivulets and they run past us down the street towards the harbour no longer visible in the greyness. Jill hugs herself. I reach out to her but she turns on me and starts walking down the hill. I hurry after her.
“Jill. Please stop,” I beg.
She slows down. Stops. But does not turn around. The rain beats her in waves brought on the wind. Her hair is flat and unflattering. I walk past her then turn to face her.
“I am really sorry, okay?” I say, struggling to see her because of the water streaming down my forehead.
She looks for a way around me. Decides against it.
“Jack,” she says instead, “I don’t know what my mother ever saw in you. You’re lazy, you’re rude and you’re selfish. You only ever think about you. No-one else.”
“Ouch,” I feign a stab to the heart.
“Shut up and listen to me!” she screams so hard that veins pop out on her forehead and neck.
I put my hands up, palms face her.
“The next time you fuck up, the next time you booze too much, or are late, or are rude to anyone in my family, or play your shitty music too loud, or whatever selfish little Jack things it is you do, I will call the cops and say you’re molesting me.”
“Holy shit, Jill. C’mon. It’s not that bad. I mean, you can just ask me nicely if I wouldn’t mind changing this and that about myself, right? You don’t have blackmail me.”
“You see, Jack. That’s precisely what I’m talking about,” she says. “You have no idea of the kind of hell you put my family through. If you don’t like what I’m offering you, then you better just leave right now.”
She turns and marches up the hill. I trudge slowly behind.


14 thoughts on “Me and Jill on the Hill

  1. Pingback: The Grand Old Duke Of York | Short Stories

  2. Evelyn

    I could easily picture this scene.
    Great writing!
    I love the cleverness of the title and the location of the story.

  3. Mike

    So glad you dropped by my blog otherwise I might never have found yours.
    I loved this short story and, as so often happens when I read other people’s work, it has inspired me to go and write something different. In this case explore the old nursery rhymes and give them a twist.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Oh wow, Mike. Thank you for taking the time to read the story and to comment. I feel thankful that you are now inspired to go and write. That, for me, is incredibly high praise. I will subscribe to your blog in the hope of reading one of your reworked nursery rhymes sometime.

  4. screen_scribbla Post author

    Kay – I checked out your blog, and though you don’t have much up yet as you mention, it is at least very worth reading. Most informative. I look forward to what is to come.

  5. Kay Camden

    It makes so much sense you’re a videographer. You write in such a visual way. Crisp. I can see this so clearly in my head, more so than a lot of fiction I read. I have a bad habit of skimming description in novels, mostly because it often bores me. But not yours. Yours I want to savor. I’m so glad I found your blog.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thank you very, very much for your kind words. And, of course, for taking your valuable time to read my work. I am very pleased that you enjoy what you read here. As a writer, there is no greater compliment. Thank you for that. I must apologise for not reading enough of your work. I can make plenty of excuses about how busy I’v been, but I’d prefer to just change the fact of not having read enough. See you shortly on your blog 😉

      1. Kay Camden

        That’s so nice of you, but I don’t have much up yet. Just started it a couple weeks ago. I’ll probably never have the nerve to put any of my actual writing up, so really now it’s just an excuse to post random stuff I’ve learned, so I can read it again after I’ve forgotten it and learn it all over again. I have a horrible memory.
        You definitely won’t find anything like your stuff there so don’t be disappointed! lol

  6. sungyim

    These are always so bittersweet because they intrigue me but never go on to be anything more than what they are. You do a very good job of leaving the reader with this sense of longing.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I find these pieces are a lot like my memories. I have a hard time remembering where they pick up and leave off, but the actual memories evoke potent emotions in me. And I like that.

  7. Find an Outlet

    I see this all the time in books, movies, and real life. Couples fighting, relationships that suck, incompatibility gone berserk.

    So he follows her up the hill. Annoying but truthful.

    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Lol – too true. Jack and Jill went up the hill.
      Just one minor correction (I was perhaps not clear enough in my writing) – Jill is Jack’s stepdaughter. Unless of course you knew that, and used the words relationships and incompatibility for that reason. In which case I apologize for incorrectly correcting you.


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