Done Fishing

Ricky wears only his beach shorts as he marches the ten paces through the thick sand until he reaches Martha. She has spread herself across a bright red towel, head covered with a broad white hat. Ricky peers around his enormous belly.
“What is it, Ricky?” she asks before he can admire her one last time.
“I just wanted to say that I love you and always have; that I know you think I’m a dumb, fat idiot that will never amount to anything; that because you think I’m a slob, I can’t have any real feelings like you do and so you can just treat me like you want to.”
Martha rips her hat off and sits up. Her mouth opens and closes like a fish on a beach.
“I’m going away now,” Ricky continues. “I’m going away to a place where nobody ever has to be mean to me again. So I thought I’d just come over here and tell you that I love you and there’s nothing you can do about it. You’ll never take that away from me the way you stripped me of my dignity, my voice and my face in front of all your so-called friends all these years. See, inside of me is a box where I keep that love, and I’m going to lock it up now and throw away the key. Goodbye.”
Ricky spins on his heels, throws back his head and shoulders and lumbers down the beach. Martha, too shocked to respond, watches him while slowly rising to her feet. Ricky heads straight into the ocean without looking back. A huge wave finally crashes over his head and he is gone.

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12 thoughts on “Done Fishing

  1. Rachel Blahgs (sometimes)

    Very nice. Didn’t see that coming – I assumed he was getting on a nice safe little plane to Europe or something. Well done…

    Especially like it since I’ve considered what would happen if I just swam out into the waves, straight out, and never turned back. (Don’t want to actually do it… just wonderin’…)

    Reply
    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thank you for reading and commenting. Yeah, I’ve seen that in films before (people just walking into the water) and always found it a wonderful image. Quite honestly, the image in my mind for this piece continued beyond the written piece. I imagined Ricky walking into a magical world in the sea and a whole story playing out there. I think it could be quite beautiful, particularly if one considers that his obsesity would not be as big a factor underwater, and that it was already established that his life on land was horrible for him.

      Reply
  2. sparrowsong

    Definitely. Bittersweet is the word I’ve been looking for and haven’t been able to find. ^^
    Hate it when that happens!

    I really feel for your protag; you’ve got a great way of building audience attachment to your characters.

    Reply
    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thank you for your feedback. It’s good to know that the audience can feel for my characters, as that is an aspect of my writing I’m really focussing on and am never sure whether they fall flat or not.

      Reply
    1. screen_scribbla Post author

      Thanks for reading and commenting. I personally enjoy the taste of bittersweet in stories. The ambiguity of emotions is both frustrating and exhilirating. I can only hope I achieved something similar here.

      Reply

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